release control :)

so the other day i realised (and im still a little hesistant to admit this) but i really enjoy being in control.. not quite a control freak - that's a little too harsh... but i just like knowing what's going on around me :)

epiphany hit me when sitting outside (beauty of ct sunshine and ssm's combined: code chilled vibes), and having my back turned to the walkway i couldn't bring myself to put BOTH my earphones in because i just could not deal with not knowing what was going on around me..

i also make sure i sit facing the entrance or where i can see most people when in a restaurant.. i'd like to put that down to "loving watching people" (which i really do), but in this case that is not entirely true.

and as good as control is, my challenge this week is to completely let free and drown out what's going on around me to immerse myself in happiness :)

on the topic of happiness - when in Cape Town, make a trip to Charley's Bakery - what a gem! beautiful cakes and biscuits, divine coffees, even teacup chandeliers! i'm a fan :)

on that note, check out this beautiful little blog - http://www.cityeatlove.blogspot.com/ - beaut of a friend reviewing restaurants in CT - love it!

life really does not turn out the way you expect most times, but that's what keeps it ever so exciting :) so let your hair down, run in the rain (but keep warm, no point catching flu to spoil the moment), be wildly spontaneous, eat peanut butter out of the jar, and put both earphones in with your back on the world for a while :)

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happy places :)

There’s something so special about spending time with the people you love most. Not acquaintances – that’s different. More pretence. More anticipation to be something; to impress.

This holiday my heart has been clearing up – it hasn’t been easy and i still have a long way to go, but im getting there and im starting to realise things about myself – i think iv always been mature, but now im really growing up. Character is most def built through hardship, and perseverance in that..

And along with that, comes a knowledge firstly and more importantly an appreciation for happy places – not only in things you love doing, but in people you love doing them with. There are few places i'v realised where i find i can truely be myself. There’s a different, sillier side to me, when i let my guard down that either comes with time, or an insane connection, and it is in those moments i find myself revealing more of myself than i have to many people who have known me for years.

Scary how you can know a person for years and never really know them. Despite that, i never want to write a relationship off just because i sometimes have to put up my guard. Sometimes guards are good, but this next half of the year i really want to explore freedom.. i don’t ever want my heart to grow up.. i'd like to find small beauties and let them enthrall me, feel the intensity around me, delight in small gestures, not look too deeply into things that could unintentionally upset me otherwise, take people as they are and not as i'd like them to be.. really love with no restraint, and not only the romantic kind, but that kind of love that becomes a lifestyle, you know?

I think that’s why i'v developed such a passionate love for photography.

All around me people hide behind masks – like a friend once told me, stained glass masquerades. And ever so often they let that guard down, even if only for a few seconds, and i'v become almost obsessed (as i'm frequently told) with capturing that.. it doesn’t have to be hysterical laughter, it can just sometimes be a different side to them that you’ve never before seen – the artist; the mechanic; the musician; the lover; the thinker - just so that they can see that it's ok to be vulnerable sometimes.

it’s actually rather beautiful.

X

will we still wave our flag?

so...6 years later, it's all over, and i find myself strangely saddened... well, despite the knock my hearing has taken from our precious inanimate friends, the vuvuzelas..

i've never been a huge soccer fan - it's too mundane for me really... the tallys are too low, brilliant goals a rarity and as quickly as possession can change, it's still not "meaty" enough for me... or maybe i just have a very short attention span (this is true, i don't do gym for this very reason - i get bored.). i like contact and all the action it brings with it.

so with 260 yellow cards issued throughout the 2010 soccer world cup, 14 of those belonging solely to the final game between spain and nederlands, i found myself a lot more eager to watch the games :)

i feel dirty for having supported their (very dramatic - do soccer players take acting classes?) fouls.. but such is life - bad antics draw the greatest crowds; make for the best news.

plus, and this may be biased, but the Durban stadium really was to me thee most beautiful of the lot - i supported out of pride for what my province had achieved..

i remember watching the opening ceremony at the cape town fanpark, to the sound of no less than a 1000 vuvuzelas.

we did indeed "show dem" (said in the most coloured accent i can muster)

there are no words to describe the pride i was filled with at that moment (true, the dramatic music playing at the time may have swayed me a little), nor the love i had for my country, problems aside.

it really is amazing how a sport can unite a nation.

and make you realise that "3rd world" is just a title, not a definition.

and the final - spain, you beauties :) now it must be said, in supporting a team i generally follow whoever my dad or brother are supporting. i was even considering going neutral until one of the 2 impressed me (ie. scored) - shallow i know, but the winning side is fun :)

but i went with dad's wisdom - and it got me far :)
Durban fanpark was filled to capacity for the final, despite the on-off drizzle (in the warmest city.ironic.) and the atmosphere was both visible and audible - just 2 words for you - fancy-dress and vuvuzelas. the extremes to which spectators will go to declare their undying support never ceases to amaze me: wigs, body paint (long gone are the days of mere face painting), a man with a giant eggshell contraption on his head, oversized glasses, personalised helmets...the possibilities were endless and people seemed to grab them with both hands (literally).

and the passion that rules fans, coaches, and players alike - it's enough to have convinced me that someday i'd like to be a sports' photographer. i'd like to capture that. in a little box of film. and show the world raw emotion.

right now, i'm so proud to be a south african :)

i hope it doesn't require a worldclass event to remind me of that again..

let's see where this newfound unity and pride can take us :)
olympics 2014 anyone?

X

step into the wild...

so this morning, i found myself sporting a very (who am i kidding) attractive cough, and intense desire to not leave my bed.

i didn't.

leave my bed, that is..

there's only so much one can sleep (if you disagree, you really should get that checked out!) so i found myself scratching through movies and stumbled upon "Into the Wild"..

originally having confused this with its animated counterpart "The Wild" (much to the amusement of a dear friend) i thought i'd give it a try..

2 and a half hours later (don't let that deter you :) time is relative) I had been so inspired (it's based on a true story) and pushed further out of my already crumbling comfort zone, but this time, in some sort of direction.

i wont ruin any part of the movie for you - GO WATCH IT FOR YOURSELF! (Note: keep up with the dates, else it may not all make sense) but there were 2 parts that really encouraged and enthralled me..

1. Charles' encounter with Ron

2. Salvation Mountain

i'd like to focus on the latter, as you need to watch the Ron-encounter for yourself :)

i googled salvation mountain, and it's a real place in california - i'd like to visit it someday :)

the creator, Leonard Knight hails from a very humble background, but then again it is the "meek" who "will inherit the earth". i like that. his passion led him to build Salvation Mountain - by hand, in a place so barren. it really is something beautiful :)

http://www.salvationmountain.us/menu.html

and finally, my realisation at the end of all of this emotion, Charles never stayed very long with the people he met along the way, but he made SUCH an impression - the kind that actually changes your life rather than simply leaves memories. that's pretty epic i think :)

i think sometimes, even though we may not stay long we need to leave "comet" impressions: ones where our impact far outlives our presence.

X

and so it begins...

so...inspiration from a dear friend (her blog post is lovely - http://bit.ly/aGncbt - i still don't even know if that's the right link, but it gets me there...everytime.. so GO GO GO!!), a head reeling with ideas and many tries later (hey, the best things take time..and an internet connection that doesn't constantly cut out for no reason), here I am... this is me :) (no followers yet.. so said to myself? does that make me crazy?)

i wanted this to be perfect...but i've decided perfection is overrated anyways (note to self: perfection may be overrated, but sunshine is not!) - I'm instead striving for excellence... and a hope that this blog reflects just that :) like in 1 corinthians 14:7 "even in the case of lifeless things that make sounds, such as the flute or the harp, how will anyone know what tune is being played unless there is a distinction in the notes?" - i'd like to be like that - distinct..a beautiful melody..a relection of my Daddy really :)

the more i look at the word dawn, the more odd it looks... and the text - pristina or rage italic? the options in my new little blogworld are seemingly limitless - excited..daunted..i love it :) even though they really aren't life changing decisions... except, i can't change my template and it frustrates me - maybe impulse isn't always that great...rushing to get started..missing the little beauties...
and i've added to and taken away from this page at least 5 times thus far, and if i dont write something else soonish, that tally may even reach double digits..

so as i refine my blog, fall and bump my head, and dance in both the rain and the sunshine i hope you'll follow my life, as i follow and am inspired by yours :)
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